I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize