i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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