ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
