I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
even my farts smell like vagina
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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