youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
