I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
