i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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