My room smells like vodka and shame
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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