You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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