it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
