she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
