Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon