Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

You're the end to all my bad dreams.

(702): View more from Nevada

Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

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(310): View more from California

I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.

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21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

organizing the empties. That sober.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"

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(425): View more from Washington

Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.

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(315): View more from New York

This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID

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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway

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