A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul