My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
