also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
