What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
