omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He better not be in your backpack
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize