Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
