Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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