i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
