Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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