Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
