i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
