So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
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If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize