Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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