Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
