is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
