Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
