you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize