i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize