Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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