you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I need a beard to bite.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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