So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
