How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
