What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
