Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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