$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
