O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
