I think scott just propositioned me for sex
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
