I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
