haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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