i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
