So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i need some magic done to my vagina
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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