shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
