I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
