you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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