Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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