I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
