Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
