Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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