my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
