Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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