I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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