So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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