I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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