If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
