All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
