i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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