He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
