farters have to be the big spoon...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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