Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
