i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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