WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
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Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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